#41. WHERE DO LOST BODY-PARTS GO??

by admin on February 10, 2011

saving our organs

thinking of lost things, the mind naturally turns to an even more mysterious subject:  lost body parts.  

i count myself fortunate that thus far i have lost only the following: all of my baby teeth (believe it or not mr. noir still has some of his); 2 wisdom teeth; a few shoulder tendons; a good part of my pituitary gland; a sprinkling of really darling moles that i was quite attached to (ha ha); a chunk of my cervix; a pinprick from each earlobe; and part of my L4-5 disc. (this is nothing compared to what most of our pets have lost!).  

one cool thing about losing body parts is that you often end up with interesting scars which can be good conversation starters in the locker room.  i received an inquiry just the other day about my shoulder scar, decades old and rather attractive if i do say so myself.  but fortunately, as of today, i retain possession of all my major organs, all my limbs and digits, my breasts and uterus, and even my tonsils and appendix!  (is there such a thing as a phantom pituitary?)

i am happy to say that i can still have an mri, as i have not replaced anything with metal (i happen to love mri’s, so if you ever need to have one be sure to talk to me).  many of my friends have lost all sorts of parts and sometimes gotten new ones: titanium hips, artificial breasts, thumbs attached with metal screws….lois (age 90) just told me quite breezily that she was going in for ”a little open-heart surgery.”  my father-in-law (called by mr. noir’s high school friends “flash”) and now dead lo these many years, used to boast about his “pig-valve”.  this is exactly what lois is getting so i gather they have not lost popularity over the decades.  lois was mostly concerned about not being able to swim for several months. 

now don’t get me started on the loss of our youthful bodies.  too bad there is not “body insurance”.  as nora ephron put it so succinctly, “anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-five.”  as my 85 year old father has said (also quite succinctly) “it only gets worse.”  for some odd reason, i find thoughts like this interesting rather than depressing (usually).  the message is this:  whatever you have this second, enjoy it! and if you find my amethyst ring, email me right away. on that note, let’s go shopping!

ever the philosophical,

esme

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