#43. WHAT DO YOU GIVE THE WOMAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING?

by admin on February 11, 2011

one can never have too many

the parking is complimentary

esme overheard the following exchange at the gym:  “what are you going to give your wife for valentine’s day?”  “i don’t know….what do you give the woman who has everything…a new husband??” 

 of course esme felt a moral obligation to jump into this conversation.  how could she let the poor man suffer like that?  and the topic was absolutely irresistable! 

i don’t know what you would have said but esme was quick on her verbal feet and answered succinctly:  COMPLIMENTS.  the guy looked startled, then thoughtful, and finally rather abashed.  “compliments?” he said, and went on to relate a story illustrating that his wife had once berated him for failing to deliver exactly that: praise, feedback, strokes…compliments. 

esme fell back on her therapeutic skills and intuited that he needed some coaching.  start with something like this, she suggested: “darling, you look beautiful today.”  the husband perked right up and seemed to agree that this was doable.  in admittedly characteristic fashion, esme started to warm up to the topic:  how about “you smell delicious,”  “your hair feels so soft”, “your legs look terrific in that skirt”?  she had to admit she was fantasizing about her own mr. noir, but pulled herself back to the situation at hand.  the husband was putting on a sorry mein and esme realized she was pushing her luck.  quoth the poor man, “but valentine’s day comes only once a year!”  ladies, can you believe this?  all i could think was “men”!  no wonder….

anyway, compliments are the best (they do have to be heartfelt however), but if worse comes to worse, most women can never have enough diamonds.  esme happens to love diamonds because they go with everything, feel comfortable on the body, and (as long as they are not too too humungous), can be worn daily.  (i will add one caveat:  while “tiny” is a wonderful word to describe a woman’s waist, it is not so wonderful when applied to diamonds.)  

now you might wonder, what does the man who has everything want for valentine’s day (or any holiday for that matter)?  i would certainly welcome your thoughts on this question.  i think i know what my husband would say:  a man can never have too many cars.  however, that rolls royce phantom (even pre-owned) he’s had his eye on is just a teeny tiny bit beyond my budget!

hoping for some of each (well i guess i’m not a woman who has everything),

esme (esmenoir@gmail.com)

The Peanuts are Complimentary:
A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a cold one. The peanuts say to the guy “Nice tie.” The guy blows them off and has another, this time the peanuts say to the guy “Nice shirt.” The bartender walks by to see if the guy needs another. The guy says “Hey these peanuts are talking to me!” The bartender responds “Well of course, the peanuts are complimentary!”

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