by admin on February 24, 2011

the crone


here’s the thing about menopause:  beyond the hot-flashes and night sweats, beyond the mood swings, beyond the slllooooowwwwing of metabolism, the techtonic drift of body-parts downward, the real impact of menopause is one’s loss of fertility.  forever.  irrevocable. 

not that most of us want more children after a certain age, but still….. there’s always the fantasy, the idea that you COULD.  perhaps even the thought of having a baby for someone else, or the idea of a late-life surprise.  but once your ovaries have become like peas and your estrogen is in the tank, that’s it.  not possible to even fantasize.  and that’s a loss.  it really is.  a world of possibility to be mourned.  what use the crone?? 

esme is so glad she has christophe.  he represents a chain of infinite potential.  grandchildren. great grandchildren.  great great great great great grandhcildren.  and the concern that the world will not be safe for them.  the noir genes felled by the expiration of the sun, or the toxic demise of the seas, or the human violence we never seem to be able to quell.  worry and possiblity, braided into one.  so, the forgotten tampons in the drawer…..echoes of dreams.




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