JEANS VARIANTS AND ALTERNATIVES

by admin on January 18, 2012

cj boyfriend jeans

with the advent of actual cold weather on the monterey peninsula, esme is again obsessing about jeans.  during the recent unseasonable warm spell, one could get away with loose knit pants and the like, but now they just don’t provide enough heft.  in addition, esme has found that many of her knit pants have ornamentation or volume at the bottom, and these details are wonderful at collecting dirt and twigs on one’s dog-walk!

however, after returning to her jeans collection for a few days, esme is still finding them uncomfortable.  she can’t figure this one out, as these very same jeans seemed perfectly fine a mere six months ago.  perhaps esme has acquired a rare disorder:  extreme seam sensitivity disorder (ESSD).  the other night she even found that the one seam on a pair of otherwise loose and comfy pants began to bother her after a few hours.

esme does have some company in this realm.  her sister roz, for instance, refuses to wear any “bifurcated garments” for this very reason (don’t you just LOVE her gift for a phrase?).  other self-described long waisted women also seem to have issues with the rise of pants (esme’s dear mother included).   perhaps it’s genetic??

esme could begin a serious and obsessive quest for a comfortable jean.  she made a little start on this the other day, and found an interesting jean-variant by jag—a jean-like pant but with a wide, flat elastic waist.  they were quite flattering, although in her usual fashion, esme began to think she’d need the slightly-too-big size to be truly comfortable.  it was at this point that she began to have a little chat with herself:  just wait, esme….don’t do anything rash….jeans will be there for you….sit this one out (and such-like).

jag pull-on jeans

esme does have one pair of comfortable and reasonably good-looking jeans.  these are her cookie johnson boyfriend jeans.  unfortunately, the pockets (made of silk) have worn out and are apparently unfixable, so esme has to be careful not to put anything in them.  many people, she tells herself, would be HAPPY to have even one pair of good jeans (even if they are a bit over-the-hill).

another option might be to work various eccentric trousers into esme’s daily wardrobe.  she might have to wear some leggings underneath them for warmth.  maybe she could tuck the bottoms into her purple uggs to protect against twigs.  so if you happen to come across a small, middle-aged woman walking a white terrier with a black spot, and sporting an usual pair of bifurcated bottoms, you’ll know it’s esme.

anyone else out there have wisdom on this matter?

disgruntled,

esme

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