IMAGINE FORSAKING YOUR JEANS

by admin on June 13, 2012

giving up jeans

while esme has been chatting away about color, panty-lines, men vs. women and so on, she has been secretly engaged in an undercover operation:  giving up jeans.  as any of you jeans-wearers can imagine, this is huge.  jeans have been a staple of esme’s weekend wardrobe for well over 25 years, and have become her daily uniform since her retirement from real work.  almost everything looks good with jeans.  when esme is trying on a top at sylvie’s, for instance, mr. noir might ask “well what would you wear it with?”  the answer almost always starts with “jeans”.  and frankly, esme thinks that jeans look good on esme.

so, why the sacrifice?  over the last year or so, esme keeps finding herself on periodic quests for the perfect jean.  just as she believes she’s found it, something very odd happens.  a few months go by, and lo and behold, the perfect jeans become uncomfortable. and esme is off on a new quest for a different perfect jean.

i really have no idea why this happens.  do the jeans shrink just the tiniest bit each time they are washed (even if one eschews the drier)?  has esme’s post-menopausal mid-section accelerated it’s inevitable drift into shorter and wider?  esme finally realized that the cause was immaterial;  she decided that it was ridiculous to purchase any more jeans!

so, a monumental quest for something to replace the iconic american jean.  first esme tried skirts.  indeed, she found a few she likes—her j. jill wearever skirt and her striped maxi.  both are comfy and flattering, but both are ankle length, and not ideal for daily activities such as walking the dog.  a shorter skirt would a. require tailoring, and b. look frumpy on esme.

at this juncture, esme has settled on a loose trouser solution.  in a negative mood, one might call this the baggy pants approach, but let’s not go there.  details to come.  but let me give you a little foretaste of the result:  ah, the beauty and sensuousness of a bit of air circulating around the body!

living in a jeansless universe,

esme

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