by admin on June 26, 2012


perhaps you will recall that esme is the eldest of four girls in her family.  so you can imagine that esme has had her share of envious moments and jealous thoughts.

envy and jealousy are not quite the same thing.  jealousy has to do with the fear that what one has (one’s husband for instance) will be taken away by someone else, while envy has to do with wishing one had what someone else has (those big blue eyes, perhaps).  to be human is to experience both envy and jealousy, even when one doesn’t want to.

esme (and i would assume most of us) tends to be most envious of those with whom she is close.  i mean, really…why bother being envious of kate middleton?  so how to deal with such feelings without tainting one’s relationships?  in recent years esme has hit upon a tactic that works for her.

here’s what she does.  rather than focusing on what she doesn’t have and will most likely never have in this lifetime (long legs, blue eyes, the ability to paint, whatever) she instructs herself to take vicarious pride in the attributes/accomplishments of the other.  she considers how lucky she is to have a relative/friend/acquaintance with such lovely skin/eyes/shoes.  she allows herself to enjoy the beauty of the other.  this technique is especially useful as one ages.  enjoy the energy and beauty of the young.  watch with a smile, as you might watch a puppy playing.

meanwhile, keep a tight grip on your husband (lol!).

other thoughts?




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