SHRINK OR SWIM

by admin on July 19, 2012

shrinking

even though esme keeps swimming and swimming, she seems to keep shrinking and shrinking. that’s another other traumatic thing about an annual exam:  they measure you.  esme was so hoping that she would have grown, as she has been working on new improvements to her posture.  but no.  a person who came into adulthood a respectable 5’2-1/2″ (indeed perhaps 5’2-3/4″ on a good day) has now shrunk to a pitiful 5’1-1/4″.  really, i loved being 5’2-1/2″.  it was the perfect height.  compact, but not puny.  small but not miniscule. or maybe it just looks that way in retrospect.

i was 5′-1-1/2″ last year.  that was bad enough.  my doctor was kind enough to say that the difference could easily be “operator error”, but i don’t buy it.  at 1/4″ per year, it would take esme only 5 years to hit 5 feet (age 63).  omg….that would mean that by the time i’m 80 i’ll be only 4 foot 8!  that’s outrageous!

but that’s not the worst of it.  you know how the charts that tell you how much you should weigh are based on height?  well, does that mean that a person should be losing 5-10 pounds for every inch she shrinks?  talk about adding insult to injury!  uuuh…that would mean (subtracting 5 lbs. per inch) that esme should weigh 83 pounds by the time she’s 80.  or, if we use 10 pounds, 58 pounds by the time she’s an octogenarian!  get real…….at that rate, rather than dying, she could just slowly disappear!

and don’t tell me to do yoga…..or even pilates….been there, done that!  but i will keep swimming.

staying afloat

still afloat,

esme

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