by admin on August 1, 2012

beach volley ball bikiinis

mr. noir looks reverently into the distance and almost whispers the name “misty may“.  esme thought she might spit if this happened one more time, but apparently he is not alone.  males all over the world were apprehensive that chilly london weather might alter the scanty bikinis traditionally worn by the u.s. beach volley ball players.

esme gathers that this has become a topic of controversy among feminists:  what does it mean that these athletes are valued for their fashion statements as much as for their performance?

it is not so much the semiotics of these outfits that worries esme, as their practicality.  what woman doesn’t recall tugging at the bottom of her bathing suit to make sure it hadn’t ridden up, or even finding that her bikini top had come undone in the water?  why just yesterday esme saw a young woman checking her backside in the mirror before emerging into public view in her bikini.  so, my question is, what keeps those tiny tops and bottoms in place????

perhaps there is some really high tech fabric that glues itself to the contorting body.  esme once bought a pair of soma panties advertised as “no panty line” (no vpl, ha ha) only to find that the openings were lined in some sort of sticky stuff that makes them very difficult to get off.  rather than having nightmares about going to school without underwear, esme began to dream that she has to pee and couldn’t get her panties off!

and don’t even think about the waxing that must go on to allow a person to perform in front of the entire human population on hi def. tv with barely a scrap of cloth covering her bottom.  brazilian?  laser? perhaps the athletes have a personal hair-remover who follows them wherever they go.

the surprising thing about beach volley ball bikinis is that the u.s. athletes themselves seem to love them, and don’t object to being seen as sex objects as well as athletes:

“The top women players do not seek to deny that the lure of their sweating bodies in bikinis draws in audiences, generates media interest and boosts advertising revenue.

“Their response is: so what?

This is how we look. This is how we are. What you see is what you get. There’s no hiding. There’s no airbrushing here,” said American Misty May-Treanor, who with her team mate Kerri Walsh won Olympic gold in Athens in 2004 and Beijing in 2008.”

well, if missy may is fine with her bikini, who is esme to quibble?  all i can say is, you wouldn’t have caught me dead cavorting in one of those things after the age of say…..5!  but to each her own.  even mr. noir.  as he puts it, “i may be old, but i’m not dead”.

not spitting,




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