DIGITAL JEANS-FITTING

by admin on August 28, 2012

body scanning for the perfect fit

if you, like almost every other woman on the planet, find getting just the right pair of jeans almost as hard as finding a needle in a haystack, you’ll be relieved to know that help is in sight.  a new machine (there’s one at bloomingdale’s in the stanford shopping center) can scan your body, take precise measurements, and suggest just the jeans for you.

of course, you do have to be immodest enough to allow a machine to know your dimensions (i blush to think of it), and you must hope they erase your image as soon as you leave.  perhaps the measurements are in metrics, which might make them a bit easier for those of us unfamiliar with centimeters to accept–(ignorance is bliss).

esme would love to try one of these machines.  indeed, next time she’s in the bay area, she plans to make a special stop at bloomies.  however, esme has come to realize that the only jeans she finds comfortable are actually jeans that do NOT fit.  for her, a jean must have a good deal of clearance around the body to be wearable.  let’s pretend that esme’s body is a threshold, and the jeans are a door.  well, esme needs at least enough room for a mouse to pass over the threshold and under the door in order to be comfortable.  are you picturing that one???  oh how i wish i could draw!

mouse sneaking under the door (or is that a kitten??)

ready to be measured?

esme

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