LONGING FOR A LONG NECK

by admin on October 2, 2013

 

let me assure you, if you didn’t know this already, that a little neck surgery (or surgery of any kind for that matter) has absolutely nothing to recommend it for the dedicated shopper.  one can obsess for weeks beforehand about what sort of clothing one will need post-surgery, but once the deed is done, a person will be so totally absorbed in the task of attempting to find some sort of bodily homeostasis that even a little recreational on-line shopping will be completely out of the question.  i mean, even staying on the computer long enough to google “non-narcotic methods of post-surgical pain control” was more than i could handle.

however, one good thing and one truly great thing have come from the experience.  the good thing:  i found the perfect pre-and-post-neck-surgery outfit.  a soft a-line top with a wide neck in a light sweatshirty material, topping a pair of elastic waist but still stylin’ dark blue linen pants (both courtesy of CUT LOOSE), all atop a black cami with a bit of lace and black cotton victoria secret bikinis!  a pair of navy merrill clogs were good but unnecessary as they give you those cute little sock things with rubber stick-ums on the bottom in lieu of shoes.  all easy to slip on over a neck brace with a bit of help from the discharge nurse, all color-co-ordinated and not too shabby looking.

but i’m saving the best for last.  ok.  so you have a little pre-surgery chat with your neurosurgeon (who in this case happens to be rather cute).  i try for a bit of humor and ask him if he can make my neck long and swan-like while he’s at it. he says without missing a beat “your neck is already long and thin—makes my job much easier!”  omg and here i’ve thought for all my 59 years that i had a short neck!!!  and now there’s a guy whose job entails assessing peoples’ necks every day telling me that i have a long one!  where was this guy 40 years ago when i needed him (hmmm….probably not even a twinkle in his father’s eye)?

well, you might be thinking that this was a hallucination brought on by anesthesia, but really, they hadn’t given me a thing at that point!  so it would have to be like…..i don’t know…..a retrograde hallucination?  nah…..i’ll take it for reality.  maybe i’ll even put his words in a locket to wear around my newly discovered (if scarred and fused) long neck.

ah esme, you are such a sucker for compliments,

esme

a much younger neck

 

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