POCKETS! (for marjorie)

by admin on March 1, 2014

a friend called from afar and said to me, “i have one word for you:  pockets!”  i knew immediately what she meant.  we women have been suffering from a pocket deficit at least since i’ve been on the planet.  that’s why we have to carry those darn purses.  purses (or handbags as east coasters say) look cool, make great accent pieces, and are a huge industry. i love to look at them in my fashion mags.  however, in real life they are a pain in the butt (or in my case, a real pain in the neck).  following my neck surgery, i am simply unable to carry a purse without pain.  and others are constantly losing things inside their purses, losing the purses themselves, having to switch all their stuff between purses depending on the outfit—as i said, pain in the behind.

men, on the other hand, have always been blessed with pockets:  pants pockets, vest pockets, jacket pockets, shirt pockets…you name it, it’s got a pocket!  even men’s pajamas have pockets.  forget penis envy.  i’ve got pocket envy.  i’ve even considered having pockets sewn into the hems of my coats.

so people, let’s get creative about pockets.  every women’s garment should have at least two pockets large and substantial enough to hold a cell phone and a set of keys.  pockets in pants and skirts and dresses and sweaters and jackets and vests.  pockets hidden beneath the cleavage of a low cut blouse.  pockets on the sides of a bra.  panty pockets. boot pockets. pockets and more pockets.  hire some engineers if you have to.  relegate the handbag to the realm of jewelry—purely for decoration.

i know this will be challenging, but people who can send a man (and a woman? and a dog?) to the moon can surely figure out how to create functional pockets for the female half of the population.

pocketless in paradise,


photo courtesy of:  http://www.makeit-loveit.com/2013/03/adding-hidden-side-pockets-to-anything-skirt-pants-shorts-etc.html



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